It was just to be left there as if it wasn’t connected to anything that had happened in the room. The nightstand drawer was ajar and she instinctively dived in with her hand, searching for her wallet. There hadn’t been any money in it—if there had been, she would have already been on the road up to Winter Park—but her first instinct didn’t take this into account. The photos. She couldn’t find the photos, they weren’t in the plastic holders where she kept them. This only drove home the ache she had just had in the bathroom to see and hold her daughter. But then, there they were, back to back, in the pocket where the money would have been, if she’d had any money. Displaced but still there. She hadn’t realized how precious they were to her. She’d taken too much for granted. Still, there was no money in the tray on the nightstand. She’d been stiffed. She’d given up on the idea to drive up to Winter Park, but it crushed her now to think that she couldn’t buy more of Christmas to make. But the fifth time I got my ass kicked on Dead or Alive because I missed the goddamn kick-button because of those new nails, I gave up.I had no choice. Under the threat of extreme boredom and with nothing else to do, I started to perfect the whole feminine act. I began by reading some of the teen magazines and fashion books K had left behind, and very consciously tried to do so in as girly a way as possible, curled up on the sofa with my legs tucked up beneath my ass, unconsciously stroking my hair as I perused the articles. I even read that awful 'Shopaholic' book, pausing partway through to look over K's letter once again. Eventually I drifted into the bathroom and practiced my makeup skills and all that other shit, then reluctantly slipped into some low heels and pranced back and forth for a bit. I kept them on for the rest of the night--I was almost surprised at how quickly the night came, once I got serious about my training--and finally settled in for food and a movie.I whipped.
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